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There has been quite a bit of talk about something called Dunbar’s Number lately. This is the notion that a person cannot possibly maintain meaningful relationships with more than a certain number of people — that number is typically cited as being 150.
Challenging Dunbar’s Number
The reasoning behind Dunbar’s Number is that we cannot possibly be truly and meaningfully involved with more than (roughly) 150 people. There simply isn’t enough time.
While there is certainly a limit to the number of meaningful relationships we can have, I believe that the meteoric rise of the Internet and, especially the social media networks, challenges the 150 ceiling.
Social Media networks, such as Facebook, Twitter, and Linked-In, allow us to maintain many more relationships than ever before. Pre-Facebook, I would have no idea what 90% of my college connections are doing as an occupation, whether they are married, do they have kids, are they still huge Kansas City Chiefs fans?
But this update on Facebook allows us to keep our relationship warm:
Just got the company seats for the Chiefs game — bringing my wife and two sons. Working at XYZ Corporation certainly has its perks.
Wow — how much did I learn about the state of my old college buddies life in that sentence? And how long did it take me to read? Now, multiply that by the number of connections across all of my social media networks and I am able to keep many more than 150 connections.
Admittedly — these are not deep, “do you want to come to my daughters baptism” connections — but they are warm and current connections.
So — what do you think? Is it possible to connect with more people than ever before?
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Social Media offers a perfect bridge between family, friends, and business. It’s a great way to market your business or simply stay in touch with friends and family.
It’s about networking and meeting new people while maintaining current relationships.
@Ivan Temelkov — I agree Ivan — I think of social media sites (especially Twitter) as a place to meet new friends — friends sometimes become customers and sometimes send me referrals —- and if they don’t that’s OK — they are good people, talking about interesting things.
It does feel great to post one comment and know that 190 or more people get it at once. Social media is a great way to tell a lot of people the same thing without repeating yourself.
@Tami Mitchell — do you feel like you have maintained any meaningful relationships using social media?
Interesting word choice on the relationship temperature able to be met with social media; warm. When I think of the word warm, I think of mediocore….which is bland, blah, and of less importance.
I like hot. Hot is passion. Hot is on fire. Hot is real connection, real relationships, and then I imagine the word loyal entering in here….
For me, the social media connections are another tool to connecting in a superficial way. Some connection is better than none. I like hearing from friends I have lost contact with over the years.
I think the powerful take away is to not trick our minds into believing that just because we have “lots of the warm stuff” we won’t freeze our tails off when the rent comes due if we are not committed and taking action with a “burning passion” to be the solution to our clients deepest needs, wants, and pains.
Great take on a social media post, Russ!
Jennifer
@jennifer
This is the key point — I believe social media networks can keep many more warm connections than we have ever had before — in days past, these relationships would go cold and offer neither personal or business value to us.
Good things to think about here, Russ.
To make more, and better relationships, takes work. Sometimes lots of work.
You and I enjoy meeting new people and learning new things. But as you know, it takes time and effort. We who are ‘social animals’ thrive on it. Others, not only dislike it, but don’t see, nor feel they need, lots of warm friends.
Again, I’ll close with my favorite Abe Lincoln quote: “Things will come to those who sit and wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.”
I like hustling!
@Fred — no question Fred — growing your network is a lot of work — and is a lot more work for people who dislike social situations. Online tools such as Twitter, Facebook and Linked In can give even the most avid social butterflies additional outlets to grow their network — but for those that find person to person networking uncomfortable — these social networks can be a god-send.
Great inspiration and feedback here. Always a pleasure!